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Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "...and most importantly, try not to bore the shit out of people."

"...and most importantly..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Always be willing to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans."

"Always be willing..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "At least we didn't die."

"At least we..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, “Bad decisions make spectacular stories.”

"Bad Decisions Spectacular Stories" Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Diamonds used to be a girl's best friend; then UGGs, espresso, & dry shampoo happened."

"Diamonds used to..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Have I told you today that you're a freakin' genius?"

"Have I told..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "I wanted to send you a "Get Better Soon" card. Not because you're sick, I just think you could get better.

"I wanted to..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "I'd take 635, 35, and the Tollway at rush hour just to sit next to you on a barstool and hear about your day."

"I'd take 635..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "I'm not sure what my spirit animal is, but I'm pretty sure it lives in a cave and has social anxiety."

"I'm not sure..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "If one door closes and another opens, your shit is haunted."

"If one door..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "If we're the least bitchy people in the room, there's something seriously wrong with the room."

"If we're the..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "If you must eat a banana in public, don't make eye contact..."

"If you must..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "In retrospect, it would appear that my life up to this point has been a series of hastily conceived experiments characterized by an abundance of caffeine and a lack of short-term memory."

"In retrospect, it..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Konichiwa, bitches!"

"Konichiwa, B*tches" Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Maybe she's born with it; Maybe it's Ritalin."

"Maybe she's born..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Screw the past and damn the future! Right now, we are perfect."

"Screw the past..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Some days I look back on my life and I'm extremely impressed I'm still alive."

"Some days I..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Somehow, the police never find me as funny as you do."

"Somehow, the police..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Sometimes I wrestle with my demons; Sometimes we just snuggle."

"Sometimes I wrestle..." Greeting Card

"Surgical Shape" Vented Mask - Fabric - Washable and Re-Useable

"Surgical Shape" Vented Mask - Fabric - Washable and Re-Useable

"Surgical Shape" Vented Mask - Fabric - Washable and Re-Useable

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Thanks for starting my day off with a bang."

"Thanks for starting..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "The honor of your presence is requested in my pants."

"The honor of..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "The trouble with trouble is that it starts with fun."

"The trouble with..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Things we hated as kids: naps and spankings. Things we beg for as adults: naps and spankings."

"Things we hated..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Time to make today your bitch."

"Time to make..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Time to truss up your tits and get to work."

"Time to truss..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "Under the Basic Transitive Theory, if I pet my dog and you pet my dog, there's a good chance I'll at least make out with you."

"Under the basic..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "What do you say we set a whole afternoon to drink and swear like the old days?"

"What do you..." Greeting Card

Vanilla envelope with white greeting card, "You're awfully haughty for someone who can't put on their underwear without tipping over."

"You're awfully haughty..." Greeting Card

12" Stationery Clips

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